Student Style: Our Writer on Finding Confidence in Clothes
By Molly Grazioso
This article is part of our Student Style series, in which we aim to highlight our student body’s diverse sartorial expression
Every few months or so, I experience what I call… a fashion identity crisis. This is the time when I come across some new aesthetic inspiration on social media or in a movie, decide I wholeheartedly dislike my current style, and attempt to completely reinvent myself. Is this healthy? No. Is this sustainable? Also no. But I have yet to figure out how to break this cycle, and now just happens to be one of those times that I find myself in crisis, unsure of how to transform myself into the manifestation of my latest ideal. So, when I was asked to capture my style for Clover’s series, as you might imagine, I panicked.
While this may sound overly dramatic, dressing myself is the core method I use to shape my identity. It informs so much of how I feel about myself on a daily basis and the energy I aim to direct outwards. When I feel uncomfortable in what I am wearing, anxiety starts to consume me, because when I feel uncomfortable or unsure in my clothes, I feel uncomfortable or unsure about my identity, both what I feel inside and what I project out to others.
I think that, in many ways, discomfort or uncertainty surrounding one’s developing identity is a universal experience. But I also think this particular anxiety stems from the unique pressure Gen Z feels to be able to commodify our identities, cultivate a personal brand, specific style or persona, and share it in an easily digestible format on Instagram or other social media platforms for all of our peers to see.
It does not surprise me that my perception of my style and my self-worth are so intertwined. It’s a natural—psychological—consequence of growing up in the social media generation, especially as a young woman. But, I have also begun to realize that social media alone is not responsible for my tendency to use what I wear to define how I feel about myself. Even before I had social media, as a child, I obsessed over how others perceived me. I desperately wanted to be respected and received as intellectual and mature. And in learning how to navigate this fear of being perceived, I remember trying out different styles of clothing and realizing that when I dressed in ways I found beautiful or exciting, I developed an internal sense of confidence that ultimately rendered what others thought of me irrelevant. Clothes are my personal vehicle for self-discovery and self-acceptance. I cannot control what other people think about me, but I can control what I wear and how I feel about myself.
I’ve always been jealous of people who are able to maintain what seems like a single, unifying aesthetic. I wish I could present myself in a neat little box and show exactly who I am through my unique, well-curated style, but the truth is, I’m still figuring out my style, because I’m still figuring out who I am. I’m also beginning to learn that I am nowhere near alone in that experience.
So, for my student style feature, what I present to you is my current attempt at finding confidence through the clothes I wear and experimenting with some of the styles that inspire me right now. I would be lying if I said I loved everything about each look unconditionally—I am in the middle of a fashion identity crisis, after all—but with each new outfit I wear, and each new style I try, I am growing more into the person I want to become, and every day, becoming more comfortable with myself and my ever-changing identity.
My great-grandmother used to tell me that it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind, and it may be the best guidance I’ve ever received. So to answer the question of how I would describe my style, the only truthful summary I can offer is that my style is evolving, and it will continue to evolve, because who I am is dynamic. That’s the only neat explanation I know for sure.
For this article, I chose to feature some tops that I wear during a few days of living in Vermont. To keep my family and others safe and healthy, and also because it is freezing, I spend the vast majority of my time inside, so comfort and ease have become my priorities when choosing what to wear every day. In all honesty, the only bottoms I’ve been wearing are sweatpants (there’s nothing wrong with that!), but mine aren’t all that interesting, so I focused my photos on my upper half. If you do happen to spot a pair of jeans in the images below, you should know I quickly traded them for some trusty sweats immediately after I captured the look. Such is life in a pandemic.
Monday
Here we have my Zoom University uniform. I am a huge fan of thrifting old sweatshirts, so I was thrilled when I found this vintage Middlebury sweatshirt on eBay. It gives me 80s–90s school vibes, bringing me one step closer to achieving my dream of emulating Sloane from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Skylar from Good Will Hunting (both provide some of my favorite school style inspiration). I also love the oversized balloon style of the sleeves and cropped length—they make the sweatshirt versatile enough to function as pajamas or to be worn out, layered over collared shirts or turtlenecks and underneath all types of jackets. In this instance, I layered it with a thin, beige turtleneck and black puffer jacket while picking up some coffee outside.
Tuesday
I decided to keep it simple here with one of my all-time favorite purchases. My sweater is from Reformation, but I found it on Depop for over 60% off–and it had only been worn once! I paired it with a black lace bralette to add some contrast to the cream color and to draw attention to the slightly sheer, open knit design. In the future, I’d love to find statement jackets to wear over the sweater and purchase similarly knit sweaters in bright, bolder colors. I love how classic this monochromatic look is, but I also want to start experimenting with unexpected color combinations like some of the Danish influencers I follow on Instagram. @lunaklestrup is one of my current style icons, and her pairing of diverse colors, patterns, and textures is seemingly effortless.
I also attempted to do my makeup this week, and while I haven’t yet ventured beyond simple “natural makeup” looks (so, I’m not the most qualified artist), I love and recommend using Glossier’s Lash Slick mascara, Boy Brow, and Cloud Paint blush as easy everyday staples.
Wednesday
On Wednesday, I wore this light green pullover sweater for the first time, and I’m really excited about it. It’s an easy layer to add on, and because it is slightly beachy, I can see myself wearing it throughout all of the seasons (for example, over turtlenecks now and hopefully bikinis this summer). In the leftmost picture where I’m not wearing a turtleneck, I styled it with a glass seed bead necklace that I made with my initials. I have been entertaining myself recently in quarantine by learning how to make these necklaces and bracelets, and I think they are a really easy way to add some statement colors to an outfit.
Thursday
Vermont winters are beautiful, but after shoveling snow for months, I am eager for spring to begin. Inspired by my dreams of warmth, I chose to wear this bright yellow top with cute floral details. I was, admittedly, a bit ambitious (the temperature is still in single digits), so I ended up pairing it with a simple, white cardigan to keep my arms a tad warmer. All together, I think the outfit turned out to be a really pretty, classic feminine look.
As one of the Clover team members, I am hoping to expand these conversations about fashion and style at and outside of Middlebury. For too long, my peers have trivialized the idea of discussing fashion as a serious academic discipline, and I want to prove that fashion is not only a worthwhile subject to study, but an important one.
I’m also thrilled to be working on our upcoming C / Green column, which will focus on sustainable and ethical fashion. Fashion is the fourth largest polluter on the planet—if we truly care about preserving our environment and combating climate change, then transforming the way we make and buy clothes ought to become a priority.
I hope you’ll join me along this journey of growing up, discovering my style and identity, and learning how to become a better, more conscious consumer.